Pandemic parenting, part 1: How to handle parent burnout using Chinese medicine
At least half of my patients have been dealing with parent burnout since the start of this pandemic. It’s the most pressing and prevalent issue that I’m seeing in my practice.
For the first time in this generation, parents are trying to cope with homeschooling AND working from home, without any kind of functional set-up, and having had no time to prepare for the sudden change. The constant alertness parents experience from watching their kids, while managing that distraction as they attempt to work from home, is putting a significant strain on the body’s ability to maintain homeostasis. On top of that, parents feel guilty for letting their kids down because they can’t send the kids to camp or go on vacation, aren’t always able to help them keep up with their schoolwork, and can’t provide them with the outlet of sports or entertainment. This stress interferes with the whole body’s flow of Qi energy.
Prolonged and chronic stress, in turn, leads to an increase in heart rate, decreased digestive system activity, dilation of lung tissue, high blood pressure, and adrenal fatigue from excess cortisol production. This can result in long-term health issues such as heart attacks, high blood pressure, obesity, low immunity, menstrual problems and a plethora of other ailments.
Here are the common symptoms of parent burnout.
As a parent, you may experience some or all of them.
anxiety
depression
emotional imbalance (anger, empathy)
fatigue
feeling overwhelmed
headaches
insomnia
paranoia
sense of dread and vulnerability (comes in waves)
weight gain
Parents need to take care of themselves in order to take care of their families—put the oxygen mask on themselves first, then the kids. Makes sense, right? Of course!
But how, exactly, should parents take care of themselves in a pandemic?
By following my nine tips on how to cope using Chinese medicine! Of course, you don’t have to be a parent to benefit from these tips. They’re handy for anyone right now.
Using Chinese medicine concepts and acupuncture applications to alleviate stress and calm the body, you can ensure the improvement of the body’s natural functions by removing blockages and addressing organ imbalances. This works to decrease stress by releasing endorphins, improving blood circulation and increasing the amount of oxygen within the tissues. For strong immunity and mindful living, the nervous system must operate the majority of the time in a parasympathetic state, known as “rest and digest.”
It’s not healthy to be stuck in some weird zone where you don’t know what time it is or what day it is, and you don’t want anxiety dictating your actions. Knowing what’s going to happen next is one of the things that makes us feel safe. It counters the anxiety of uncertainty and reassures our organs—which is where the deep internal feeling of safety and security comes from. We need structure, we need rhythm, we need to know what we’re doing next. Routine to the rescue!
Luckily, there is a template for this based on the intelligence of natural daily rhythms. It’s the key to preventative health in Chinese medicine and we have adapted it to the 21st century. Each 24-hour cycle has a yang part and a yin part. Schedule productive, active things (breakfast, exercise, hard work) in the yang time, and more passive activities (lunch, lower-key work, creative pursuits, winding down and sleep) in the yin time. This will help to promote feeling secure and safe in yourself.
Here’s my first tip. Make sure to read part 2 for the other eight tips!
1. Take adaptogenic herbs.
“Adaptogenic” means an herb will adapt to your needs. That means it will up-regulate or down-regulate your body’s functions, depending on what’s required to restore balance to your unique system. These herbs help with overall resilience, adaptability, longevity and vital health. The following are particularly kidney-strengthening herbs that are aligned with self-care and nourishing the mind:
Ashwagandha helps to reduce feelings of tension, stress and anxiety. You can take this remedy in a liquid tincture form: for maximum absorption, add 30 drops to 40 drops in a small amount of water and drink. Take it in the morning if you need an energy-filled day, or at night before bed so your body can continue to function optimally while you rest.
Schisandra, a type of berry, is also a de-stresser. For some people, stress feels like a tense jaw, tight muscles and Type-A personality due to stuck liver Qi energy. This herb helps to move it and allows you to adapt to the stressors you can’t remove right now, such as COVID or homeschooling. It’s really helpful for when you’re feeling tense, irritable, stuck and frustrated. You can eat the fruits (try two grams a day) or take them in capsule form with meals.
Reishi is helpful to counteract overthinking, overstimulation, and a panicked mindset. This mushroom is easiest to take in a liquid tincture form, and the best time of day is the evening, close to when you’re going to bed to ensure these compounds are easily distributed through your circulatory system as you rest.
Please note: This information is intended for general reference, and is not a replacement for professional health advice. It’s best to use these herbs under the direct supervision of a qualified health practitioner. They are not for use during pregnancy or breastfeeding except under the supervision of a qualified health care practitioner.
2. Give yourself acupressure to help ground you.
Be sure to inhale and exhale throughout the process to help move Qi energy and oxygen to the parts of your body that need it. Here are some useful points to try.
Kidney 27. Trace your clavicle till you get to the notch toward the middle of your chest. Right below this, tap lightly with your index finder and middle fingers, while you inhale and exhale for 60 seconds. This point is very helpful for releasing tense breath and calming nausea.
Yintang. This is right below your third eye; it’s located where the bridge of your nose meets your forehead. Stroke it gently with your index and middle finger, you’ll be able to feel it working all over your body. This point is amazing for insomnia, anxiety, as well as eye and sinus issues.
Kidney 1. This point is located in between the big toe and index (second) toe—it’s the soft spot on the underside of the foot between the ball and arch of your foot. This one is really grounding and helpful for palpitations, anxiety, insomnia and even rage.
Liver 3. This point is on the top of the foot, about one inch below the web of the foot, between the big toe and index toe. Helpful for easing frustration, anger, digestive issues and depression.
Read part 2 for seven more tips on managing parent burnout!
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